Heartache

heartache

Heartache

Heartache:After Guy walked out, I didn‘t see him for four weeks. Now that seems like a long time, but at the time, it flew by. Livi ng al one in the apartment was actually sort of fun. Of course, that was between the hysterical crying, forty phone calls a day to the lying cheating scumbag and watchi ng Prison Break (don‘t ask me why Prison Break—most probably just because it was there).  I got to eat chocol ate for breakfast, dri nk wine for dinner and di d not lift one finger toward cleaning anything. For the past four years of my life, I had literally been his slave, always doing what I was told, and despite the heartbreak, it was such a relief not to have to do anything for anyone else. During that time, I barely ate, rarely went to work and seldom spoke to anyone, apart my family and friends in the UK via Skype. I did, however, desperately call Guy up to forty times a day, begging him to come around. I was so lonely and heart brok en. All I wanted to do was see hi m. Nonethel ess, he remai ned strong, no doubt with the help of all of his fri ends, family and the blond slut I had since learnt, through F acebook, he had been sleeping with. He did not contact or see me for four weeks.

Heartache:I truly hated him at that poi nt. Looking back, I wish I coul d say I was this strong independent wom an who took the breakup in her stride— even that I played hard to get and just cut all contact with him, but that is not true at all. In all truth, I was a mess, which at the time I was ashamed of, but now, with retros pect on my side, I beli eve this was just the begi nning for me.

Heartache:After four weeks of li vi ng al one in a rel entless , never endi ng cycle of tears, sobbing and wine, our rent was due and so Guy came over one Sunday afternoon to discuss the options. His name was the one on the rental lease, so I guess it was his head on the chopping block if we did not pay our rent. At the time, obvi ously, I hadn‘t really put much thought into the rent. I never assum ed he would just pay it . On the other hand, I didn‘t bother to pay my part of the rent either. I knew if I didn‘t, he would have to contact me, and at the time that was exactly what I wanted. Although heartbroken , I was also smart enough to know it would take the rental com pany a long time to evict me, and I knew it was very unlikely there would be any lasting damage to me, as ultimately I wanted to return to the UK to li ve. Guy, therefore, had a lot more to lose than I di d, and that made me feel happy  and a little less like my life was spiralling out of control.

I didn‘t know he was coming over that day, as he never bothered to call or text first, and I got the shock of my life when I ans wered the door. It was 5pm, I was extremely hung-over from the endless wine I had been drinking and I had been sent home from work, by a very understanding boss , three days out of the previous five. I was  still in my PJs, and there was vomit on the bedroom fl oor, which I had not bothered to clean up, from my drinking binge the night before. I truly was a mess . The apartment, needless to say, was in a far worse state than I was, as I had refused, in protest, to clean or tidy anything for the previous four weeks . But to be perfectly honest, at the time, I just didn‘t care. As soon as I saw Guy, I gave him a huge hug. I had been so lonely and had missed him so much, but he did not return the hug in the slightest. I invited him in, hoping he wanted to talk, maybe to try and rekindle our rel ationshi p. Maybe even to apologise. But as he sat down and scanned the room in complete disgust, I realised he was not there to check how I was or to beg for my forgi veness . As we sat there in silence, I started to cry uncontrollably , but he rem ained calm. I woul d love to say that was the minute I got over him, when I saw him for the heartless man he truly was, and when I became a new strong liberated woman, but that was not the case at all. I literally just sat and sobbed for the entire time.

Heartache:After losing his temper with my constant crying and realising he didn‘t have the patience or em pathy for that kind of interaction, he coldly asked me to move out of the apartment  or pay the entire rent, which he knew would not be possible on my wages. He then got up, and without even saying goodbye, walked out the door. He was so cold and heartless  that if I had had a knife handy, I honestly would have killed him. I felt so alone, and I truly hated him for dragging me all the way to the other side of the world, away from all of my friends and family. Little did I know that only a few months later I‘d have everythi ng to thank him for.

Heartbreak changes peopl e.‘ — Unknown.

Provided by:https://en.wikipedia.org

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